All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize