so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
