You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
