Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
