Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
