how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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