On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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