Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Randomize
