Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
