If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
