am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
