i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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