I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
