I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
