Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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