it was like his penis was on wheels.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
ttyl tear gas
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
