so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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