butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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