I hate your face
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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