my mouth tastes like poor choices
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
