i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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