JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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