Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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