Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
