We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
