Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
