I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
This is my gift to your gina
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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