whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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