So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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