if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I cut my penus on the lid.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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