two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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