Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
