I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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