Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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