I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
