What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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