bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
