No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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