My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
