I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
