i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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