Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
