And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
