bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
