I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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