So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
