WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
