i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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