Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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