i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
