That's intense
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
