cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
