buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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