Yo dont text me then not text me
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
