I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
