you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize