is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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