turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize