i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
