Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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