i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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