He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize