I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
