I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
