Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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