Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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